39 – Fresh Air

Sometimes people feel stuck. Stuck in the same old job that you don’t know how to get out of. Stuck in the same old house that you don’t feel like you can afford to move from. Stuck with the same old car that needs more repairs than you can afford. Stuck in a marriage that lost its spark a few years ago. Sometimes a person who feels stuck and restless will make foolish and destructive choices.
We were not designed to keep our nose to the grindstone day after day, year after year. We were designed to lie down and get a good night’s sleep each night. We were designed to take a day off from work each week, thank God for what He has done for us, and reflect on where He is leading us. We were designed to live in seasons, so that there is a rhythm to our lives that changes somewhat throughout the year. Relaxing, taking time off, and getting away from it all can take some faith that God can take care of us without our constant work.
The Bible warns us about working too hard and neglecting rest and relaxation.
In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat – for He grants sleep to those He loves. (Psalm 127:2)
Here are some suggestions for avoiding burning out and for keeping your marriage refreshed.
Sleep – Make a habit of winding down each night and getting a good night’s sleep. If at all possible, keep a similar schedule with your spouse. If your husband has to get up early and you make a habit of staying up late and sleeping late, you limit the amount of time you have for each other.
Time Together – Make whatever adjustments you must to your schedule to be able to spend time together every day. If you both working on different shifts, this may seem like it makes childcare easier, but it will take a toll on your marriage. Pray earnestly for God to change your circumstances or give you different jobs so that you have more time together.
Church – Make a family habit of going to church together each week. Find ways to make it a joy and not a burden or a lifeless duty. If you start this habit when your children are small and have a positive attitude yourselves, you will be likely to maintain this habit as your kids grow older. If you have a negative attitude and are critical of the church or its leadership, your children will wonder what is the point of going to church and will begin to rebel against the idea as they get older.
Date Night – Particularly if you have small children, you need to find a babysitter and go do something fun as a couple. It doesn’t need to be expensive. If you don’t feel you can afford a babysitter, arrange to exchange babysitting with another couple. Most couples that take the time for a weekly date night find their communication and appreciation for each other is greatly improved. Most of the couples we have ever met with who were having trouble in their marriage had been neglecting doing anything fun with just the two of them. Almost all of the couples we know that keep a regular date night are succeeding at marriage.
Vacation – Get out of town at least once a year as a family. Find ways to make your vacation something that everyone enjoys. A common mistake with vacations is cramming in too much activity, too much travel, and too much stress. People often joke about needing to get back to work to rest up from their vacation. Your vacation will often give you a fresh perspective on life and refresh your priorities. Choose a vacation that fits the whole family and that the family can enjoy doing together.
There can also be financial stresses during a vacation, as you and your family find many ways to spend money on food, gas, lodging, and activities. Plan with your spouse in advance what you plan to do and what it will cost. You won’t be able to take all the surprises out of the cost of a vacation, but you can certainly limit them. I have found that the more I can pay for in advance, the less concerned I am with the cost of a vacation.
If you are working with limited finances for a vacation, consider inexpensive alternatives such as camping.
If you are self employed, you may find it challenging to take a vacation because of the income you will give up for the time off you are taking. However, you need to regard a vacation as an investment in your family and your health. In the long run, you will be glad you took the time off.
Talk About It – What changes do you need to make in your daily, weekly, and yearly schedules to keep your marriage fresh.