19 – Sharing Life

Life was meant to be shared. The spouse God gave you is the one person who you should share the most with. When you look back at life, it will be the moments you shared that you will value more than the things you owned, the places you went, or the things you did.
When we were children we all knew how to be self centered. Hopefully, though, as we began to mature we began to learn to share with others. Most of life’s great moments are more enjoyable when they are shared. When you enjoy the beauty of the mountains or the ocean, you naturally want to turn to someone and say, “Look at that!” However, sharing life with your spouse requires that the two of you spend time together and that you speak to each other from your hearts.
If you learned to share cookies when you were a child, learning to share other things may come naturally. How about sharing honor, power, dreams, and significance? When you talk about the future, is there one of you who can talk for two hours straight about your dreams and plans, without taking a breath to listen to the other? If so, you need to work at bringing balance to your sharing of dreams.
If you come from a big family, you probably learned to share early in life. If you are an only child or were a spoiled child, you may find sharing harder to do. Sharing is going to be essential for a healthy marriage.
If sharing is hard for you, deepening your relationship with God will change the way you look at life and at others. God has called us to give Him our lives. Once we do, we quit looking at our lives as our private possession. We will be much more open to opportunities to share our lives with others.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. (Romans 12:1)
If you have given your life to God and have quit thinking of it as yours alone, you will find it easier to share with others, including your spouse.
Ted was a married man with children. He worked hard each day and when he came home at night he was tired. He always told his wife how important it was that she had dinner ready for him when he arrived home from work. She dutifully made sure dinner was hot and ready when he arrived. He would eagerly fill his plate, take it into the bedroom, close the door behind him, and turn on the television. It was quiet and relaxing in there. He was able to wind down from his tiring day at work. Television was great because it entertained Ted and required nothing of him. Occasionally, Ted’s relaxation was interrupted by the noise of his children playing or fighting in the living room. He would open the door and shout at his wife, “Why can’t you keep those children quiet?” Then he would close the door and go back to his relaxing dinner. Of course, Ted’s wife was finding little joy in these evenings. A married man was meant to be a part of the lives of his wife and children. While it would take something out of Ted to sit at the table and have dinner with his wife and kids, he would be giving something to his family, and would enjoy the reward of being part of the lives of his family members.
The Bible is consistent about calling us into meaningful relationships with others. In Genesis we read that God said it wasn’t good for the man to be alone. In Ecclesiastes, Solomon elaborates on the meaningless of a life lived alone.
There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless— a miserable business! Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:8-12)
Parts of this passage focus on the practical benefits of having a partner – having someone there when you fall, staying warm, and defending yourselves. But much of the pleasure in life, such as looking at a sunset or enjoying a good meal, is much better when it is shared with someone.
Sharing life with your spouse requires that your make sharing a priority. You must choose to spend time together in times and places where your hearts will be open to each other. We have some thoughts in other chapters that may help:
· spending some time each day in heart to heart conversation (chapter 29),
· getting out of town as a couple (chapter 35),
· making a weekly date night (chapter 39),
· and taking a family vacation, (also chapter 39).
Talk About It – Do you feel that your spouse is a partner who shares your dreams and enjoys life’s great moments with you? What can you do to deepen your sharing of life?