9 – Tough Times

There will be seasons in your marriage when life gets more difficult. Some of these will be out of your control. It isn’t time to get down, get mad, or give up. It’s time, instead, to deepen your relationship with each other and with God.
Voislav and Mejra had great jobs and a comfortable home in Sarajevo, in the former Yugoslavia. They looked forward to a bright future with their young son and daughter. Then in the early 1990’s, fighting broke out in Sarajevo. Their home was burned down and Voislav was forced to work for rebels.
Mejra had to flee with their children and spent some time in a Red Cross shelter in the basement of a bombed out building. Almost daily, artillery fire would cause mother and children to huddle together in fear. Mejra and the children were allowed to come to the United States as refugees, but Voislav wasn’t allowed to come for about three more years. After their tearful reunion, they had a new opportunity to rebuild their lives, enjoy their marriage, and raise their children.
We hope that your tough times are not as difficult as Voislav and Mejra, but tough times call for solid commitment to each other and to the principles of marriage. If you maintain your commitment to each other, tough times will pass, and your marriage will be stronger than ever.
Keep Praying – Everything in this life is temporary. God makes a great promise to keep our hard times short and to personally intervene to change them.
And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. (1 Peter 5:10)
We can’t tell you how God will intervene in your case, but you need to continue to hope in Him, asking Him for strength, peace, and joy.
Paul urges us to be tough in tough times and to keep our eyes on the things that matter most.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4: 17-18)
Keep your eyes on God’s eternal promises and thank Him that what you are going through is temporary.
You will find in the Bible many examples of people who endured tough times through faith in God.
Look For the Open Door – God makes a remarkable promise.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
It takes a powerful and caring God to make that promise. He knows what is coming before it happens, knows what you are able to bear, and has the power to limit or change what comes your way.
He says that He will provide a way out. That means there will always be a right thing to do in every situation.
Some people, trying to be philosophical, imagine situations in which a person’s only choices are evil. You may be able to imagine such a situation, but God promises that you will never be in one. There will be a right thing to do! There will be a way out. You might imagine a room with no doors, but a good contractor will never build you one.
If you are in the middle of a tough situation, ask God what He wants you to do. Pray together diligently until you know you have the answer.
Let Go of Anything But Your Commitment – The decisions we make when we face tough choices reveal our character. Satan thought Job would curse God if times got tough. God knew better. If you have to move, change jobs, sell something, or ask for help, in order to get through, do what it takes. But never back down on your commitment to each other and to the Lord.
Keep Hope and Thanksgiving – You will never be in a situation where there isn’t something to thank God for. Don’t allow trouble to drown out a positive, hopeful, thankful atmosphere in your marriage.
Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Talk About It – Discuss what you would consider the biggest challenge your marriage faces right now. What can you do to overcome this challenge and strengthen your marriage?