1 – Why God Invented Marriage

Just a few moments after Pastor Royal pronounced us man and wife, Shirley said, “I don’t feel married.” The pastor just laughed and said, “Don’t worry, you will.” That was 1971. When we married, we were young and didn’t know that much about what we were doing. We hadn’t read any books on the subject, but we had good examples in our parents. God helped us and we learned how to be a married couple. We have enjoyed a great marriage and value our relationship over any possession or position we have ever had.
Marriage is as old as mankind. God invented it and explained it in the book of Genesis. God made a man and then said the man needed help. When God looked at Adam’s situation, it was the first time the Bible records God saying something was not good.
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18)
Don’t imagine that God meant to make someone merely to pick up Adam’s dirty socks. The Hebrew word ‘ezer, translated above as “helper” is a powerful term. It is often used to describe the help we get from God when we need to be rescued.
Why did the man need help? Why do you need help? If Adam had needed help moving a table, God would have made another man just like him. But, that isn’t the kind of help he needed.
All of us have strengths, but all of us also have weaknesses. We can benefit in many ways from someone who looks at life a little differently than we do. When God made woman, He intentionally made her different from man in many ways, while making her enough like man for them to have a deep, heartfelt relationship.
You may have noticed that everyone is good at something and no one is good at everything. In any marriage, the man and woman will each have strengths and talents that are different each other. A normal man and a normal woman can help each other throughout their lives.
God decided to create someone to live with the man and enrich his life. After He had made the woman and presented her to Adam, the Bible says,
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
When Jesus quoted this passage from Genesis, He added:
So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. (Matthew 19:6)
From these simple statements we learn some things about what God had in mind.
By saying “they are no longer two, but one,” Jesus shows that marriage is meant to be much deeper than any other human relationship. This is not merely a sexual union, or a business partnership, but a union that touches every area of our lives. God intends for my wife to be my closest friend. He made her capable of dreaming and hoping, just as I am. Somehow, we need to find a way for our dreams and hopes to link in a life that is better than either of us could have lived alone.
By saying, “what God has joined together,” Jesus shows that God is the author of marriage. We shouldn’t think of marriage as something we can redefine to fit our preferences, but something that God invented for our good. Many people like to take some of the parts of what marriage is supposed to be and leave out the parts they don’t like or that seem impossible. Examples of relationships that are only part of what they are supposed to be include,
· a man and wife who are far apart emotionally,
· a couple living together with no lifelong commitment,
· a marriage where there is unfaithfulness,
· a man and wife who don’t respect each other, or
· a marriage that leaves God out.
By saying, “let not man separate,” we can see that God intended for this to be a partnership to last the rest of our lives.
Successful marriage, then, involves:
· One man and one woman committing to help and honor each other
· Making marriage the deepest of our human relationships,
· Being committed to each other for life, and
· Having God at the center of the marriage.
Talk About It - Are you committed to marriage the way God planned it, or are there parts of His plan you’d prefer to leave out? How healthy is your marriage right now?